Top 10 Reasons to be FIRED UP for Eastern Michigan

ast week we gave you the top 10 reasons to be fired up for Towson. The game turned out to be as routine as expected and Mike Kafka improved his record against FCS schools to 1-1. So now the Eastern Michigan Eagles come to town on Saturday. The Eagles are coming off a loss to the mighty Black Knights of Army. They’re a bad MAC team, so the game figures to be pretty boring, right? In the words of NU hater Lee Corso, “not so fast my friend.” I present to you the top ten reasons to be FIRED UP for Eastern Michigan. Before we begin you can get a fantastic free bet from from one of their best betting sites. Now lets get started!

10. It will be more exciting than the 2006 game between these two teams.

I swear to Willie the Wildcat it will be a more exciting game than this debacle. I was a young, innocent freshman at NU, going to my first football game at Ryan Field, not knowing what to expect. What I got was one of the worst football games I’ve ever seen in-person. First of all, there was no one there (I’m used to that now), but more importantly, both the teams were absolutely terrible. Luckily, this time around only one of the teams is terrible. So I promise you, NU will score more than 14 points, and Andrew Brewer will not be playing quarterback.

9. Eastern Michigan has the NUMBER ONE pass defense in the country.

The Eastern Michigan game notes are funnier than the Towson game notes, and that’s not a small accomplishment! The game notes helpfully point out that EMU is only giving up 8 passing yards a game, which is the best in the country! Army’s triple option offense was  so afraid of EMU that they only attempted five passes. Break up the Eagles! What will the NU receivers do? I really hope that the first time a NU receiver catches a TD pass saturday, the student section starts chanting “overrated”. That would make my week.

8. Ron English used to coach at Michigan!

Eastern Michigan, like four out of the first five of NU’s opponents, has a new head coach this year. His name is Ron English, and I’m sure he’s a nice enough fellow. But the fact of the matter is that he used to work for the evil Michigan Wolverines! There are four schools I cannot stand in the Big Ten: Iowa, Ohio State, Illinois, and Michigan. Iowa and DUH OSU because of their fans and the sweater vest running up the score. IllANNOY because of Zook the Crook and their stupid reality TV show, and finally Michigan because of their annoying fight song that has spawned 1000 parodies. So Ron English, just because you don’t coach at Michigan anymore doesn’t mean you’re innocent of being associated with that god awful fight song. Expect a lot of heckling on saturday.

7. Another chance for this guy to get in the game.

6. The game is on national television…AGAIN.

Clearly someone out there in the media thinks the ‘Cats deserve to be on the big stage!

5. LTP’s head might explode.

Our friend over at the popular NU football blog “Lake the Posts” has been getting a LITTLE worked uprecently about the lack of attendance at NU football games. I can’t wait to see what he delivers as a follow-up after only 17,000 show up this Saturday. I think he just needs to get in the “Octagon” with the NU marketing staff and get it over with. Pat Fitzgerald can provide the motivational speech (FINISH THEM!) and Jim Phillips can host it at Wrigley Field, or Yankee Stadium, his choice.

4. Eastern Michigan has a new scoreboard and NU does NOT.

How can a freaking directional school have a new scoreboard AND video screen and NU still be stuck with that one in the corner no one can see? I would provide a link to the Ryan Field scoreboard, but Google Images netted nothing. I wonder why.  I think the EMU media staff put that in their game notes just to taunt NU fans! I mean, why else would that be there, it’s not like this is a home game for EMU. (Unless their fans travel as well as DUH OSU, but somehow I doubt that.)

3. EMU’s motto just screams “We suck, but we’re getting better!”

EMU’s motto is “Embrace the Process.” As in, we’re going to be REALLY bad for a few more years, but embrace the fact it can’t get worse, and we pretty much have to get better. Gotta love a team that is so realistic about their season.  Of course, this just begs for some good heckling from the student section this Saturday.

2. Arby Fields might overcompensate for the freshman mistake he made last Saturday.

Post-game press conference following NU’s 49-10 (my official prediction) win over EMU.

Reporter: “So Arby after you seemed to be running faster than ever during the 1st quarter, when you tallied 60 yds and a TD, we saw you sprint in to the locker room as fast as you could after the quarter ended…what happened there?”

Fields: “Last week I didn’t hydrate enough the night before the game, so this week I drank a gallon of  Gatorade last night and then again this morning. The result was a lot of bathroom breaks during the game.”

Reporter: “Freshman mistake?”

Fields: “Yeah.”

1.  Eastern Michigan has the arrogance to designate one of their linebackers as a “STAR.”

Seriously, this is ticking me off. There is no such position as the STAR linebacker. I’ve discussed this with a variety of football experts, and they’ve never seen this designation before. Also, this guy has no back-up.  EMU ran a 3-4 defense last week against Army because a 3-4 is better at defending a triple option offense. (Well, in theory at least, Army had more than 300 yards rushing). You would think they would NOT run a 3-4 D against NU, but that’s apparently what they’re going to run. As one guy close to the NU football program put it: “If you find out more about this bizarre STAR position, please let me know.” Come on EMU, stick to a normal defense. Of course it won’t matter, you’re going to get destroyed anyways, so fine, have your “STAR” linebacker.

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